Monday, August 26, 2013

The Step Monster!

Well, it's official, Bonus baby #1 officially believes I am a Step Monster. . .and she hates me.  While I understand this is pretty typically commentary from a pre-teen and from a pre-teen step daughter.  What I was surprised by was how much it hurt to read those words.  Not the "I hate you" part, but instead, the step monster part.  I have gone out of my way, from day one, to work hard to develop positive relationships with Bonus baby #1 and #2.  I work hard to never speak negatively about their mother (although, I'll be honest, I've slipped from time to time) and think hard about the things these two kids are going through.  I recognize they did not ask for me.  I recognize they are growing and will push boundaries and that parenting is not about being their "friend."  I am not trying to replace their own mother.   Step-parenting, for the most part, has been relatively painless.  But, the addition of a baby in our household, as well as in the bonus baby's mom's house, has added some stress on the kids (I think).  Pair that with the fact that Hubby and I both work long hours and are exceptionally exhausted, tension is running high in our house.  So, I'm now left with the question what do I do about it?  Do I let my Bonus baby know that her words have hurt me?   Or do  I just let it go? According to this article, it is really common for step moms to suffer from depression.  I wouldn't have really believed that before, but I can say that I do many of the things described in this article--particularly that need to "fix it."  Not only do I want to be an AWESOME step mom, I feel obligated to almost right the hurt of the kids parents' divorce (which of course, is not really possible).