I do not want that thing latching on to me!

As a home visitor, (an in-home parent educator) I sometimes hear some strange things.  Today I had a pregnant mom say to me, "I do not want that thing (meaning her BABY) latching on to me!" (in other words, "there is no way, in hell, I am going to breast feed."  I do recognize that breast feeding is a very personal issue for many women.  Some women feel extremely pressured to try and breast feed their baby and are given the message they are some how "less than" if they choose to formula feed.  Each families decision is their own and I never try and sway a family one way or the other.  I typically will ask what they have chosen and remind them to let their doctor know  their wishes as part of their birth plan.

What was striking about this conversation was not this mom's decision/choice, but how strong she was in it.  She had a very negative hospital experience for the birth of her first child, one which included a significant amount of pressure to  try and breast feed, so I'm not surprised in her response to a very simple question (what is your plan for feeding baby?).  Perhaps she had been asked a similar question repeatedly by her doctor or another ob professional.   Oddly, this was NOT the strangest thing I have heard as a home visitor. Similarly to the way I keep track of the interesting things my husband says to me, I also keep track of the interesting things I have heard along the way in my work with children and families (I have worked as a child care center director, a college faculty member, a preschool teacher, among other education related fields of work).  Here are some of my favorites:

• Miss R, your butt is too big to sit in that wagon!
• Miss R is white!
• Miss R!  I have an emergency.  I need you to call me right away. .  . . . .I can't find my fan!
• I couldn't call you back. . .I forgot how to dial the phone! 
• What?  This course has homework?  
• What?!  I am supposed to use spell check?  
• What?!  I can't turn my paper in with words written in "Text talk?!"  WTF! 
• What do you  mean I have to go home and put on "appropriate clothes?"  These (staffer points to VERY short shorts with her hind end hanging out) aren't "appropriate?"  (as a side note, this is when I purchased three pairs of ugly pants--like these--and asked staff to put them on if they couldn't come to work in appropriate attire for a child care center!)  

Are there things about your work that make you chuckle?